Single mother fights cancer, cares for 2 daughters

He had integrity, said his wife of 17 years, Joely Baker of Sand Springs. "He was the light of my life."

And invincible, she repeated - "or so I thought."

Rob, as she called him, was on his way back from a night-time delivery for the business he owned. It was Jan. 18, 2005 - the day of the car accident that took his life.

"You don't have time to think when it's an accident like that," said Joely, who was left to take care of their two daughters - Jessica, who was 14 at the time, and Chloe, who was 8.

Now, Joely has to be the invincible one and not just for her daughters' sakes. Joely has breast cancer.

She'll be among the hundreds of survivors at the annual Komen Tulsa Race for the Cure, which starts and ends at ONEOK Field on Saturday morning.

Joely will be walking the race on a Docs for the Cure scholarship, Komen Tulsa executive director Christy Southard said. Docs for the Cure is a program supported by local doctors, who cover registration fees for underserved breast cancer survivors - more than 30 this year.

Since her own diagnosis, Joely hasn't met any survivors. Before she was sick, of course, she knew women who had battled the disease.

She also knows a survivor in the form of her oldest daughter, Jessica, who was diagnosed with desmoid tumors before her father died.

Desmoid tumors, also known as aggressive fibromatosis, often occur in women in their 30s but can occur in anyone at any age, according to the Desmoid Tumor Research Foundation's website. Extremely rare, occurring in only two to four people per million, these tumors don't metastasize and can be watched by a physician. When they are aggressive, however, they can cause life-threatening problems.

Within two weeks of the car accident, Joely was with Jessica at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. A month after that, they went to Shriners Hospital in Chicago.

When Rob died, "I just had to pull myself together," Joely said. "I know that's what he would've wanted me to do. There was no choice."

Back in Oklahoma, the Bakers moved into the Charles Page Family Village, formerly known as the Widow's Colony. It's a program to help single mothers get back on their feet, providing them with housing, all expenses paid, so they can attend school and/or work to better their lives and the lives of their children.

Joely, who works at Java Dave's, has been doing just that for her children since that fateful January day in 2005. Jessica is 22 and on scholarship at the University of Tulsa. Chloe, now 15, is a student at Charles Page High School and a member of the junior varsity Sandite Dance team.

Joely has also taken care of herself. Last October, her mammogram came back clear.

Then, over Memorial Day weekend, she felt something in her breast. Maybe she hit herself, she thought. Perhaps she was sore from stretching improperly.

"My first reaction was, 'It can't be here because of all this stuff we've gone through,' " Joely said. "My initial thought was that it was going to go away.

"But, in my true mind, I knew it was real," she said.

She had already scheduled an exam for June 6. The cyst, she guessed, hadn't gone away. It had grown.

Joely was diagnosed with triple-negative invasive carcinoma, Baker said. According to the American Cancer Society's website, triple-negative breast cancers tend to grow and spread more quickly than most other types of breast cancer.

"It's one of the worst breast cancers you can have," Joely said. "I didn't have time to think."

Not two weeks later, Joely had a port put in, and she started chemotherapy. Every other week, she has treatment.

"It's been very hard," she said. "I have good days and bad days. I think most women would say the same thing."

It makes her tired. The side effects, trying to stay afloat financially, as well as spiritually.

"But you still have that fight in you to keep going," she said. "Then, you have days you can't get out of bed. But you have things to do - the girls."

She keeps in mind what Jessica went through - and is still going through, as she has an inoperable tumor in her back, plus two more in her stomach that doctors are monitoring.

"This girl can do it, she's still in college," Joely said. "I'm going to do this, too. It's a road I'm willing to take."

She's not on that road alone, though.

"I kid her," said Joely's dear friend Karen Taylor. "I say, 'You're my sister from another mister.' "

People often confuse them for siblings, with their similar short stature and short hair.

So when Joely became sick, Taylor contacted Komen Tulsa for help and started "tearing up the Internet" looking for assistance, such as free medications.

"I know, being a single parent and with this illness, missing days of work - that adds up, especially with one in college and one in high school," Taylor said.

But Joely is a "fighter," she continued. "She's a very proud person. She will not ask for anything. That's where I come in."

Taylor will be there Saturday at the race, Joely said. So will Chloe, who's walking with the dance team.

And, of course, so will all those survivors Joely has yet to meet.

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KOMEN TULSA RACE FOR THE CURE

What: Annual fundraiser/5k for breast cancer awareness When: Saturday ? 6 a.m., race-day registration; 6:30 a.m., survivor breakfast; timed 5k, 7:30 a.m.; survivor ceremony, 8:15 a.m.; untimed 5k, 9 a.m.; 1 mile fun run, 10 a.m. Where: ONEOK Field at Archer Street and Elgin Avenue Registration: $25-$40, register through Thursday at Tulsa Promenade For more: tulsaworld.com/komentulsa, 918-744-5099
Original Print Headline: Invincible

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Jason Ashley Wright 918-581-8483
jason.wright@tulsaworld.com

Source: http://www.tulsaworld.com/site/articlepath.aspx?articleid=20120913_4_D1_CUTLIN32308

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